Monday, January 19, 2009

The Male and the Floss

Dentists don't bother me. Dental hygienists make me nervous.

My old dentist retired, so I had to go to a new dentist over Christmas. This meant a new dental hygienist. I was used to the hygienist who asked me open-ended questions, usually about Harry Potter, and then stuck her hands in my mouth before I could answer.

The new dental hygienist's tactics are rather different.

"You don't floss enough. You know, not flossing has been linked to prostate cancer."

If her hands hadn't been in my mouth, I would have explained to her that I've already taken measures to prevent getting prostate cancer. Namely, I don't have a prostate.

To be sure, I have done extensive research. My findings report that people with prostates don't cry in the candy aisle at Walgreens because they're overwhelmed by the selection and can't decide what kind of chocolate they want.* I am officially disqualified.

*Thankfully, I have a boyfriend who is tolerant of this, and who surprised me with a back-up Reeses in case I changed my mind about the M&M's.


majorleague007 said...

Ah, White Ninja.

I feel about that indecisive on the cereal aisle at the grocery store.

Next up, hygienists will be threatening that Harry Potter will get prostate cancer if people don't floss.

merey kay said...

hurray hurray hurray! i feel somewhat involved in this post even though i am neither your dentist nor your boyfriend.

although that boyfriend is amazing. anyone who can keep a supply of backup candy gets my vote.

Anonymous said...

Headed to my dentist's office for a 12:15 appointment. Do I dare ask my dental hygienist about this supposed link?